


Oceans Between Us

by Kataclysm22



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Different Viewpoints, F/M, Hand Touching, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Scene Interpretation, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Y’all know...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 17:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13081566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kataclysm22/pseuds/Kataclysm22
Summary: TLJ SPOILERS. REYLO. Rey told Ben she'd seen his future, but what if she hadn't told him everything she saw? Ben told Rey he’d seen her past, but what if there’s more? Interpretation of the Hand Touching scene, and a little bit beyond.





	1. Love in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at Reylo fic, so be gentle with me. Enjoy!

Holding Ben's hand was so different from holding Finn's.

Rey couldn't help but compare the two. After all, Finn had been the first human contact she'd ever had that didn't end in pain. He'd protected her; led her to safety; comforted her in her sadness and hurt. When they'd reunited after she escaped from Kylo Ren's interrogation chambers, his embrace had been the closest thing to home she could imagine. He was soft and warm and safe… all the things she'd never known until then.

But with Kylo R—no, not Kylo… Ben. With Ben, everything felt different. She'd never expected this to happen, nor had she truly understood what was happening until it was too late. They were in the middle before she realized they'd even begun. And now, after her experience in the pit, her heart felt tattered and torn. Perhaps she thought that his touch could heal her, in some small way.

She certainly couldn't talk to Luke about what she'd experienced. He would never understand why she'd gone there in the first place, and she realized now that he could not help her. This image she'd built up of him, kept in her mind as a sort of beacon, had been shattered on her first day upon this island. He'd done nothing but discourage her, and had even gone so far as to outright fear her… No… Luke could not help her.

The only other person who might be able to was sitting across from her now, dark eyes burning into her like the flames in between them. It had taken more than she thought she possessed to open up to him, to recount her experience in the mirror. She'd been so sure that she'd find out the truth of her parents if she searched the darkness for answers. But it had only left her feeling lonelier than she ever had. She saw that same loneliness reflected in Ben's eyes, yearning for someone to ease the pain, erase the anguish he'd suffered under for so long.

Did she have it in her to be the one to take away his pain? She wasn't even capable of erasing her own pain; how could she take on his too?

"You're not alone," he suddenly said, his voice soft and reassuring. She fixed her dark eyes on him, searching his face in vain for some hint of the thoughts roiling underneath the surface.

But she couldn't find it, not like this. Rey didn't know why the Force was connecting them in this way, over hundreds of parsecs and in spite of their fundamental differences. But the distance and the juxtaposition seemed to melt away as she gazed at him.

"Neither are you," she breathed, feeling a strange tingling in the palm of her right hand. A surge of overwhelming desire to just… _feel_ him washed over her. "It's not too late." It seemed as if her hand moved of its own volition, extending towards him slowly. She was only the slightest bit hurt when he didn't move to meet her right away. But she witnessed something shift in his eyes, and she suddenly saw his naked hand moving towards her. It didn't escape her notice that his glove was gone.

A million seconds seem to pass as they hurtled towards one another, two planets, once spinning independently but now drawn together through the sheer force of gravity. Her breath seemed to come a little heavier, and required just a bit more effort than normal. A weight seemed to settle on her chest, so heavy that she almost drew back. But there was no stopping now; she needed to touch him, if only to confirm her own suspicions.

Was it really not too late to save Ben Solo?

The moment their fingers touched, it felt as though a bolt of lightning pierced through her, firing through her blood and charging her nerves with energy. The hollow pit in her stomach was suddenly filled, overflowing and saturating her broken heart. A small gasp escaped her throat as she moved her hand further forward, grasping at his palm and wrapping her fingers around his wrist.

His fingers felt rough against her skin, likely from callouses built up under relentless practicing with his saber. But it wasn't uncomfortable; not in the slightest. His skin was warm, but it was a different kind of warmth than what she'd experienced with Finn. Whereas Finn's warmth had been full of comfort and safety, Ben felt like he might ignite her body at any moment by sheer force of will. It was a heat she was inexplicably drawn to, whether it be to her detriment or not.

True to fashion, his features were nearly unreadable. His face seemed, to her, resolute. But there was something in his eyes, something Rey had never seen before. Was it possible he felt this same pull? The Force drawing them together until she wasn't sure which thoughts were his and which were her own? Her heart told her that he could feel it, even if his face refused to admit it.

Rey saw him then, as he once was: an eager, albeit serious, boy with a desire to absorb as much knowledge as he could. Dark eyes wide with wonder, hands outstretched towards some hazy distance. Then the image shimmered and melded into something else. He appeared as hid did right now, but somehow… _off._

Though his features were still stern and his eyes were still filled with pain, he was smiling; a true, joy-filled smile. Gone were his dark robes, replaced with a light tunic the color of sand. The space around him was bright and clear; he stood against a dawn-pink sky on what appeared to be a rocky outcropping. Was this the island on Ahch-to? Rey couldn't be sure, but it seemed somehow familiar.

He was looking down at something—no… not something… some _one_. A girl, shorter than him with shoulder-length dark hair and wrapped up in his arms. Her back was facing Rey, yet she would know her anywhere. But how was she seeing herself? Was this a vision of some sort? A cruel, teasing taste of a life that could have been? Or maybe… Of course…

It was disconcerting, witnessing her own future. Of all the strange things she'd experienced over the last few months, nothing like this had ever happened to her. But what was more disconcerting than that, was that Ben featured prominently in the life that was to come.

Rey watched, mouth hung slightly agape, as he ducked his head down to kiss her, soft and gentle. Her lips began tingling, as though he really was kissing her. That same warmth she'd felt upon first touching him seemed to spread over her entire body. Ben inhaled deeply as she pressed against him, deepening the kiss and tightening his hold. Her chest tightened involuntarily, and that same electric force buzzed all around her.

Was Ben seeing this too? Were these his desires, or hers? There was no way to tell, and before she could try to process what she'd just seen, a furious scream ripped through the night. The stones of her hut fell down around her as she jerked her hand away from Ben, looking over to find Luke standing where her doorway had once been, chest heaving in anger.

There would be time for dissecting her vision later. Right now, her anger was overwhelming her, propelling her to her feet to confront the man she'd once thought would be the hero of the galaxy. Rey was beginning to think that the hero she'd been searching for was the lonely boy who'd just held her hand and set her world on fire.


	2. Standing in the Way of the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, wow, wow... I seriously am just overwhelmed by all the love and attention this short little story received. I never really intended for it to be anything more than a one-shot, but so many people have requested a continuation—specifically, a look at Ben's perspective of the same scene—that I grew inspired to write one. Thank you so much for all the favs, follows, and reviews; they seriously mean the world to me. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :D

Tears glistening on her cheeks; hair slightly disheveled; wrapped up in a blanket to ward against the chill of the island... Ben couldn't help but think she'd never looked more beautiful.

It wasn't that she was in pain... No, that was the furthest thing from what he wanted for Rey. It was the way all her vulnerabilities and fears were laid bare before him, without hesitation or anxiety. She had come to him in trust and confidence... something that, as far back as he could recall, had never happened to him before. At first, he'd been wary of this seemingly unconditional confessional. If his life thus far had taught him anything, it's that nobody wanted nothing; everything had its price, and he'd continually paid it.

And so when he'd felt that now-familiar gravity come over his being, he'd fully expected to receive another one of her infamous tongue lashings. The words "murderous snake" still rang in his head, along with all the threats she'd made against him; promising to make him pay for what he'd done. Did she not understand he already had? And still was?

But instead of fury and flame in her eyes, he'd found only heartbreaking emptiness. That spirit he'd come to admire in her—perhaps even _more_ than admire—was broken, seemingly beyond repair. Her shoulders sagged and the warmth in her eyes he'd come to long for had retreated. This was not the same woman who'd stood up to him on Takodana; not even the same woman who'd viciously and fearlessly fought against him in the forest upon Starkiller Base.

It had come as a surprise when he learned she'd journeyed to the pit, seeking out answers she thought to find in the darkness. Rey had always seemed to possess every ounce of what he did not: light and goodness. So why then would she tempt herself with the dark side? Was discovering the truth of her origins really worth abandoning everything she'd presumably believed in? Ben knew it was something he would have done, but he'd never expected that of her.

Rey had admitted to him that she knew how she should have felt... _trapped and panicked..._ So then why hadn't she? Was there a similar conflict within her that he himself knew all too well? Did she... Could she really understand?

"I'd never felt so alone... " she choked out quietly past her tears, eyes trained on the floor.

Ben felt his heart clench in his chest. Whether it was from their bond or from the feelings battling inside him, he couldn't be sure. But he knew then that she _did_ understand; she always had.

"You're not alone." His voice sounded odd to his own ears—soft and reassuring—as if it didn't truly belong to him. But he quickly realized that it did... It belonged to Ben Solo, the boy he thought he'd killed when he'd murdered his own father; the boy who'd stayed his hand from killing his mother.

How a lonely scavenger girl from Jakku had managed to resurrect him, he couldn't fully understand. For as long as he could remember, he'd felt like an outsider, no matter where he was. First, with his parents. Then, with his uncle at his new Jedi temple. Even with Snoke and the First Order; whatever he'd done, it was never good enough. Either the Supreme Leader of General Hux was questioning him at every turn; doubting him and scorning him when his back was turned.

But Rey... somehow, she had been able to look past the preconceptions she'd initially believed of him. Somehow... she had found something inside him she thought worth saving. It was almost enough for him to believe it too, that he could be saved... _redeemed._

Her eyes found him, rimmed with tears but sparked with a bit of her characteristic hope. "Neither are you," she replied softly. She inhaled deeply, eyes scanning his face and searching for something he might never know. But he watched her lips move as she spoke again, and the words washed over him like a gentle wave. "It isn't too late..."

Emotions he couldn't distinguish from one another bubbled up in his chest, thrashing and mixing together into some unnamable _thing_. Ben felt tears prick at his eyes, burning and salty as the anger left his body; a strange tingling numbed his right hand, spreading up his arm. He watched in wonder, looking down as her own hand moved towards him, an unspoken request. She didn't tremble as she reached towards him, an image he was achingly unfamiliar with. Was this really happening? Was it possible... ?

It'd been a long time since he'd touched another soul without the armor of his gloves to protect his ruthless façade. The less human he appeared, the more he was feared. But with Rey, he knew it was possible for him to just... _be._ Whether that was as Ben Solo or as Kylo Ren, it didn't really matter. She was sitting here in front of him, willing to trust that he was not truly the monster they both thought him to be.

He peeled off his black leather glove without a second thought, reaching out his right hand with slow curiosity and only mild uncertainty. If this was supposed to be some kind of trap or snare, he didn't really care anymore; it would be worth it just to feel her like this, the Force binding their beings together. He could feel the Force bridging the space between their hands, pulling them closer and closer like a magnet. A moment of breathless anticipation hung between them, him staring into her eyes and she into his. Their singular selves seemed to melt away, and the world only consisted of their life-forces swirling together in a brilliant display of energy.

The moment their fingers finally touched, an icy cold wash of calm settled over him, blanketing the turmoil within his heart and cooling the fiery rage he'd always clung to as his power. His breath seemed to leave his body, though he didn't struggle against it. Instead, he welcomed this alien calm as perhaps the only genuine thing he had ever known.

Rey gasped slightly and gripped her fingers about his wrist, soft and tender and agonizingly cathartic. Seemingly against instruction, his fngers—rough and calloused and once ruthlessly cruel—traced along her wrist, drawing small circles against her skin. She was watching his face with the same wonderment he felt stirring within his chest, and he knew then that she really _was_ the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

His surroundings suddenly melted away, replaced by a flat, empty desert. Rey was still in front of him, clutching his hand like a lifeline, but she seemed somehow shrouded. Was she seeing the same thing? Where were they?

A group of people materialized out of the sand: two humans with their little dark-haired child, and a squashy Crolute standing before them. The girl was easily recognizable; his heart told him that he was witnessing Rey's past... a past she had no memory of. In detached anger, he witnessed the humans push the girl towards the Crolute, even as he handed over a wad of currency in exchange for his newest little worker. Their dress and demeanor told him all he needed to know about the parents Rey had never known. Junk traders; worthless drunks; cold-hearted clods who'd traded their only child for a little drinking money; they were _no one._

The Crolute grasped Rey tightly around her wrist, telling her to be quiet as she screamed while her parents walked away. The bastards didn't even look back before they climbed back onto their starship and blasted into the sky. Her screaming filled the air and burrowed its way into the darkest parts of his soul, settling there like some aching hurt he himself had experienced.

The vision shifted then, quickly transforming into a place he was uncomfortably familiar with: Snoke's throne room upon the Supremacy. The Praetorian Guard melded into the lacquered red walls of the room, but Snoke himself was nowhere to seen. There was his throne, shining and black and completely empty. Ben stood in front of it, on the floor before the dais. Rey was in front of him, that trusting smile she possessed plastered on her face. Her dark eyes danced and sparked as she looked at him, free of her inhibitions and reservations.

"We did it," she whispered, squeezing his hand. "It's over." He looked down at their intertwined fingers, and then back at her face. What was this? The future?

He hesitated only slightly before saying, "Nothing is ever over." His voice echoed hollowly around the chamber. What's going on here? Had they... ?

Her forehead crinkled slightly as she said, "We'll finish it then... _together._ " The depth of the vision hit him full on then, flashing before his eyes so quickly that he couldn't fully make it out. But in every glimpse, there was one thing in common: _Rey._ She was standing tall and proud, fierce and beautiful at his side. There wasn't a force in the galaxy that could withstand their combined power.

But it was more than that. _She_ was more than that. As the vision faded away, and he was faced with her again—grasping his hand as she sat cross-legged on the floor of his chambers—he felt an overwhelming panic and excitement, all at once. His future was full of _her_... and she had wanted to be there; had wanted to be with _him_.

His mouth opened, curling into the barest hint of a smile, and his breath came out in a whisper. " _Rey..."_

But she didn't hear him. A spike of her own fear coursed through him, shattering that cool calm he had begun to cherish. Rey looked to her left as she snatched her hand away, and Ben followed her gaze. A voice screaming for her to stop echoed dimly, but faded quickly into nothing. But as before... he could see nothing of her surroundings. She disappeared then, pulled away by the disturbance... But Ben's hand remained steadfastly extended in front of him. He could feel the ghost of her fingers still...

White hot fury filled his chest as he realized it had been Luke that interrupted their bond. His own uncle, who'd once tried to kill him out of fear for what he might become, now knew Rey's true intentions. He'd once thought that Luke would be the answer to his quest for power and acceptance; providing him with the family he'd so desperately longed for. But Ben was beginning to think that his search for belonging would end with the lonely girl who'd just held his hand and quieted his tempestuous world with her own steadfast, unwavering hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you everyone for all of your support. I may expand on this a little bit more, if the inspiration finds me. But until then, I do hope you enjoyed. Please let me know what you thought!


	3. The Powers That Magnetize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a little bit more! These kids just will not leave me alone, and after seeing TLJ for a second time, they are breaking my heart! xD This chapter and the next will be a little exposition of the last Force Bond scene in TLJ. Enjoy!

There was a string tied around her heart, tugging and pulling her every which way, except for any way that made sense. Rey could feel it now, pulling her back down into the mine, even as she boarded the Falcon. Everything was just happening too fast; her heart and her mind weren't communicating properly, and it was almost easier to just ignore that irritating pull, rather than succumb to it, like she had so many times already. But Rey's wants didn't seem to matter... not when it came to this.

Silence fell around her, and she looked back down the ramp towards the rock opening she'd just ushered the Resistance through. Seeing Ben kneeling at her feet... that was an interesting image to try and comprehend. It was so contrary to him, as a person; the incident in Snoke's throne room had shown her that. The image of him standing tall before her—black-gloved hand outstretched and desperate hope in his eyes—would be branded into her mind forever... as would the feeling of her heart breaking upon realizing that she had failed, not only herself, but him as well.

When Rey had finally understood that he had not yet abandoned his need for power, it'd nearly killed her to draw away from him. She'd wanted to take his hand, the way she had back on Ahch-To... But he was _not_ Ben Solo in that moment. Kylo Ren—in all his violent glory—had been the one to offer her the galaxy, not Ben. And Rey could not allow him to follow that path, even if it meant denying herself. She knew Ben was still in there, warring with himself; it was the only reason she'd left him lying there in the throne room instead of striking him down. As much as she wanted to think of him that way, he was not fully here now, and she could not wait for him.

Kylo's eyes were full of pain and pleading. His bottom lip trembled slightly as he looked up at her, and Rey thought she'd never seen his jaw so loosely clenched. All the fire and fury he'd exhibited back on the Supremacy was gone, replaced by... This couldn't be defeat, could it? No, Kylo didn't know the meaning of defeat; it was as unfamiliar to him as mercy.

But Ben might know it.

Rey remembered her vision clearly then. She'd been so sure that what she saw was his future... _their_ future. The way he'd smiled and kissed her had been so real, she could almost feel it now, looking down at him without saying a word. But that image was quickly slipping away. Ben had spurned her, even after he'd saved her. He claimed that she was the one who couldn't let go of the past, but he'd shown himself just as guilty as that perceived sin. Whatever dreams he had of ruling the galaxy, they were born of a lifetime of Snoke's manipulations. It was unrealistic of her, she knew, to expect him to be free of Snoke so instantaneously... But the betrayal stung all the same.

Ben was still gazing at her, even as she felt her own face hardening towards him. In her heart, she knew that what she'd told him before was still true... _It isn't too late..._ But the time wasn't right yet. There was still too much darkness in him; darkness that he needed to snuff out on his own. No one, not even herself, could do it for him. It broke her heart to do it, but she pressed the button to close the hatch all the same.

The Force Bond grew weaker as the hatch closed, and the last thing she felt was Ben flinch, as if in pain, when the hatch finally sealed. After that, there was nothing. It was clear to her now that Snoke had lied to the both of them about the Bond. If he'd truly had anything to do with their mysterious connection, then it would have died right alongside him. But here they were, drowning in the wake of what might have been mixed with the present that now lay before them.

Though she'd determined the lie, she had to wonder if Ben had as well. But that was all she could do now... _wonder._ Rey knew she couldn't allow herself to become entrenched again. With Luke gone, and the Resistance nearly decimated, there was so much responsibility on her shoulders. She sat down heavily, and looked over at Finn where he was drawing a blanket over a petite girl with shallow injuries to her face. In spite of all the pain roiling in her heart, she allowed herself a small smile. If nothing else, she had to hold on to whatever hope she could find. And Finn was never short on hope, that much she was certain of.

Rey looked all around her at the faces gathered on the Falcon. They'd experienced so much pain over the last few days, yet there were only smiles on the faces she saw. Against all odds, they'd managed to escape an enemy vastly more powerful and better equipped than themselves. In the face of almost certain death, help had come to them from lightyears away, and Luke had given them the chance to fight another day. And she could see now that their spark had not died; if anything, it burned brighter than before.

Suddenly, but not unwelcome, her vision floated through her memory like a wisp, as if it might disappear at any moment. She closed her eyes and tried to focus in on it, before it was gone. The smile upon Ben's face... she had to wonder if that was truly how his smile looked. After all, she'd never actually seen him smile in that way. As if he had not a care in the world; as if he were truly happy. But it was something she could hold onto.. a small measure of hope. She tried to focus in on herself as well, looking for any sign of whether the vision had been true. She was wearing her usual scavenger garb, but Rey noticed that the fabric around her middle was looser than it normally was.

A small gasp escaped her throat as she realized. And when she recognized that tell-tale swell of her belly, that same string tugged at her heart.

As it pulled at her, the memory of the vision disappeared. She didn't know if she'd be able to bring it back ever again, but that momentary glimpse was enough. A small wave of hope washed over her; hope that Ben Solo could be saved, and achieve that future she'd envisioned. She had helped him as far as she could. Now, the last measure of that hope lay with Ben, and depended on whether she'd done enough to make him see; to see that she'd never lied and that their future was not set in stone.

Rey opened her eyes and stared at the broken light saber in her lap. Perhaps some portion of the past really had died, as Ben had wished it. But that didn't mean she could no longer use it. Luke was gone; now it was up to her change the fate of the galaxy, one way or another.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I've got at least one more chapter planned, but I might expand a little bit further out into future non-canon territory. We'll see, depending on the interest ;) Please let me know what you thought; I hope you enjoyed!


	4. The Unknown, Where Shadows Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all the favs, follows, and reviews. You don't know how much they mean to mean, seriously. This chapter will be an exposition on the final Force Bond scene, written from Ben's perspective. Enjoy!

Something that echoed in the quiet space stilled the fury in his chest. He could feel that the rebels had just slipped through his fingers; had likely passed through this very room only a few moments ago, hastening towards their escape. But the knowledge didn't enrage him, as it might have a few short weeks ago. If anything, he felt numb towards them. Everything he thought he'd cared about had changed in only the last few hours; a temporal shift had occurred in his life, yet he felt more lost than ever.

Ben signaled for the Stormtroopers to fall back as he walked into the small command space. There was evidence scattered everywhere that the rebels had left in a hurry, heedless of what they were leaving behind and only concerned with what lay ahead of them. _There's a lesson to be learned there,_ he thought solemnly. Stepping forward slightly, he looked around at the discarded, technologically ancient equipment... But a glint of something on the floor caught his eye. Looking down, he felt a spike of... _something_ course through his chest upon recognizing those ridiculous gold dice. But it wasn't the anger he'd experienced earlier upon seeing the _Falcon_ streaking through the sky. No...

This was pain.

He knelt on the dust-covered floor and scooped the dice into his gloved hand, staring down at them and trying to figure out where this pain was coming from. But before he could determine it, a familiar pull tugged at him, and deafening silence fell all around. He looked up quickly, finding Rey standing over him in the doorway. She was staring down at him, an unreadable expression in her eyes. In his mind's eye, he could see her again as she had been on the _Supremacy_ : fearsome and powerful and everything he'd ever wanted. She looked almost the same now, only without her earlier ferocity.

A horrible, sinking feeling filled him then as he realized Snoke had lied. He hadn't done anything to connect them through the Force... not one, damn thing. If he had, then they wouldn't be staring each other in the face right now as Snoke's corpse was starting to rot. Wetness pricked at his eyes, and it took everything within him to hold it back. What a fool he had been; a selfish, childish fool. Ben felt his bottom lip tremble slightly from the effort of concealing his own shame.

But what did it matter now? He'd been so sure of the vision he'd seen of Rey's future—of _their_ future. So then why had she rejected him? With the whole galaxy at their feet, laid out and ready for the taking, why was she still holding on to the past? Ben knew the answer to that already, but she'd wounded him more than he cared to admit. He knew now that the past could never really die; no matter how much he'd tried to run from it, he could never escape where he'd come from. First his father... and now Luke... they would haunt him forever.

Rey had been the one to show him that, and he'd spat in her face for it. Of course she was looking at him like that now; as if he was her greatest disappointment. Failing his family had been one thing, as had failing the Supreme Leader. But failing Rey was something entirely different. He felt hollow inside, as if both versions of himself had abandoned him. He felt like neither Ben Solo nor Kylo Ren; an empty shell, and nothing more.

He wanted her— _needed_ her—back with him... But how to tell her? What could he say to make amends for all he had done? Yes, he had defied Snoke and saved her life. But then he'd turned right around and allowed his desires to distract him; to distract him from what he _truly_ wanted. It was clear from the look on her face that the road to forgiveness would be a long one indeed. And faced with everything he'd done, he couldn't blame her for not wanting to forgive him yet.

She clenched her jaw and pressed the button to close the hatch, and his heart felt like it fell into his stomach. But her eyes didn't leave him, even as the hatch sealed shut. Ben flinched as their bond severed, and the last thing he felt was her resignation. To what, he could not be sure, but she seemed stronger to him, somehow. Where he was broken, still kneeling on the floor, she now stood tall and reborn. What he wouldn't give to be standing next to her.

Ben realized now that the vision he'd seen of her future had been destroyed by his own impulsive desires. If he'd been able to forget all the pain he'd suffered, he might have been able to see that vision come true with his own eyes. But it was too late for that now; she was gone, and he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, power he had dreamt of for a lifetime; power that had left him feeling emptier than ever before.

Standing on aching knees, Ben exhaled the breath he'd been holding. He could feel the _Falcon_ pulling away, somewhere up above him, and with it, the last wisps of his connection with Rey. Wiping away the wetness from his eyes, he turned away from the room and rejoined General Hux where he was waiting in the main chamber. Hux gave him that annoyingly knowing look he always had, but kept his mouth closed. That was the way he preferred it anyways.

A detachment of Stormtroopers was sweeping the furthest reaches of the cave, but Ben knew it was pointless. "They're gone," he shouted, drawing everyone's attention. "Return to your divisions; we leave at once." Sweeping his cloak out behind him, he stalked out of the mine into the blinding sunlight, shielding his eyes with his hand. If he never stepped foot on this salt-covered wasteland ever again, it would be too soon.

He could feel Hux behind him, following closely. "What are you orders, Supreme Leader?" he asked in a low voice.

Ben whirled around quickly to face the general, and it didn't escape his notice how Armitage flinched away from him. "Half our fleet has been destroyed, _General_ ," he seethed. "We need to regroup before even considering pursuing the Resistance."

"Then we will be pursuing... Sir?"

He bristled slightly at the general's implication, and had to resist the urge to strike him. But it didn't seem to matter as much as it once had. The image he'd foreseen of Rey grasping his hand—looking into his eyes and telling him that they could face anything together—calmed his ire. "We will discuss these matters when we return to the _Finalizer_ _,_ General," he said quietly, turning away without another word.

His light saber seemed to burn him where it hung at his hip. He had to assume that Rey had taken the pieces of Anakin's saber when she'd left him on the _Supremacy._ The thought didn't inflame him as it once did; the saber didn't matter anymore. He knew now that it was a pointless effort to aspire to be as powerful as Darth Vader. After all, now that he was Supreme Leader, he'd risen higher than Vader ever had. But what was that really worth? He'd lost something far more precious in the process; something he would do anything to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you're interested in seeing any more—anything at all—let me know in a review! :D


	5. Diving Into Waves

Hopping from planet to planet, relocating to countless Rebel bases made it hard to keep track of the time. But here, orbiting Naboo on the swamp moon Rori, sixty revolutions had passed before she saw Ben again. He just sat there silently for the longest time, tall and proud and giving her a look that could cut through stone like it was nothing. She'd been laying in her bunk at the time, fiddling a piece of machinery when she'd felt that all-too-familiar snap of recognition. Looking up, she saw him as though her really was in the same room. Instinctively, Rey knew he was perched on the throne that Snoke had once occupied. The thought filled her with a putrid mix of disgust and desolation. But as he stared at her, unblinking and silent, the feeling melted away into passivity.

This was what he had wanted, after all. And the tiny spark of smugness that flared in her chest at recognizing his dissatisfaction was enough to make her smile a little. Slowly, Rey sat up in her bunk, setting aside her project and bracing one arm on the overhead storage compartment.

"I thought we'd finished with this." Her words were as cold as ice, but her voice remained level and quiet. Tilting her head slightly, she scooted to the edge of her bunk.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he replied, seeming to fight against the clenching of his jaw. His eyebrows pulled together in a scowl, and she watched as his fingers tightened on the phantom arms of the throne. To her view, he merely sat on the trunk that contained what few belongings she had. Ironically enough, the mangled pieces of Luke's lightsaber were locked within, right under his—

"Where are you?" he asked sharply, sitting forward a little bit.

Rey couldn't help the scoff that escaped her throat. "You really think I'm going to reveal that to you? When you're hunting as down like animals? Haven't you learned that you can't control me, Ben Solo? You lost—"

"I seem to remember the lightsaber split in two," he spat, suddenly standing with fists clenched at his sides. It didn't escape her notice that he wasn't wearing his trademark leather gloves. "A draw, if anything."

She snorted slightly and looked away from him, trying to hide the acknowledgement on her face. He was right... She knew that... But her pride would never allow her to admit it. Not yet, anyways.

Slowly, her gaze shifted back to his face. She stood up off her bunk and took a slight step towards him, feeling the energy of their connection crackle and spark at the proximity. Images of fire and unity and betrayal flashed in her mind, gone as quickly as they'd come. The urge to reach out and touch him was almost overwhelming, and she could feel her own fists clenching with the effort to resist. Was he feeling it too?

"Why are we still connected?" she said, repeating her earlier sentiment in a softer way. To her surprise, it wasn't difficult to try. Seeing him again... it reminded her too much of the life she'd thought was laid out before her.

The tenderness in her voice and in her gaze seemed to melt his resolve slightly. Rey saw his shoulders fall and his scowl disappear. "I don't know," he muttered, raking one of his hands through his dark hair. How she wished she could do the same...

"Snoke said he'd been responsible for the bond," she continued slowly, feeling her body lean slightly forward. It was like there was a magnet between them, drawing them together. "But if that's true—"

"He lied," Ben cut in suddenly. "He always had been, from the very beginning. I see that now." His bottom lip jutted out slightly as he swallowed a lump in his throat. "But we may never know why the Force is connecting us... It doesn't matter."

The stinging pain that spiked through Rey's chest was surprising. What was _that_ supposed to mean? "How can you say that?" she uttered, taking care not to reveal any of the... rather _complicated_ emotions roiling in her chest. Slowly, his eyes found hers. The sadness she saw there was equally as surprising. But she'd seen that look before, not very long ago.

_Please._

That single, imploring word rang through her mind like a distant echo. Barely muttered, yet loaded with desperation. Longing pricked at her heart, tapping out a steady rhythm that was almost impossible to ignore... Almost.

"Of course it matters," she finally continued, her voice harder now. A hopeful expression passed over his face, but disappeared quickly. "The Force is about more than just you and I, Ben. There's a reason it keeps bringing us together, no matter where we are or what's happening. It wants us to do something."

"Something..." he repeated, his voice monotone and dead. Where there had been sadness before, now there was coldness in his eyes. "It wanted us to rule together, Rey. But you spat on my offer like filth."

She felt her brow furrow in anger against her will. That spark of longing was suddenly inflamed into anger, consuming whatever other feelings might have been lurking underneath the surface. "You proposed the willful allowance of innocent people's deaths!"

" _Innocent_?" His own anger propelled him forward, barreling towards her in all his broad might. He stopped only a few feet away. "How many have the rebels killed? How many have they led to their doom?"

"Violence begets violence, Ben. The necessity of standing up to tyranny is not comparable to slaughter. But soon... there will be nothing left..." Rey let her rancor cool before uttering the only words she believed might get through to him. She inhaled deeply, steeling her resolve. "Though I can't pretend to understand your reasons, I know you felt you had to kill your father. But your mother..."

Rage, white hot and piercing, marred his face. "I had nothing to do with my mother's death," he seethed, fists shaking from the force of his grip.

But whereas Ben stood burning in anger, Rey found herself unable to move, paralyzed by the ice in her veins. The beating of her heart seemed sluggish, laboring in her chest as ringing filled her ears. All of a sudden, breath filled her lungs and her heart was beating too fast, drowning out the ringing with its frantic rhythm.

"Ben..." she whispered, choking on an abrupt sob. His demeanor suddenly changed at the inflection she placed on his name. All this time... all this time, he'd thought... "Leia is alive."

The only sound she could hear was that of his breathing, ragged and deafening. His mouth hung slightly open; arms, hanging limply at his sides. Suddenly, he seemed very small, where he never had before. Even with the scar across his brow and cheek, he seemed so childlike. Confusion and disbelief colored his features, the question resting unspoken on his lips. Almost instantly, the connection between them grew faint, sizzling out like a shooting star disappearing into the night.

In a moment, she was rushing forward, aiming to catch him as he fell to his knees. Rey braced for the impact of his unsupported weight, ready to hold him as the realization imprisoned his mind. His dark eyes stared past her at a fixed point of nothingness. Arms outstretched, she lunged forward, stumbling slightly when her embrace came up empty. A gasp seized her unexpectedly, filling the silence of her room like a hammer strike.

He was gone.

She was alone in her room once more, surrounded by gray walls and gray floors and gray furniture. The gasp turned into a sob, and a few, unbidden tears snaked their way down her face. That had been the very last thing she'd expected. To see him so broken and so vulnerable... It echoed the look on his face the last time she'd seen him on Crait. But the despair in his eyes... Had he finally realized?

The door to her quarters slid open with a soft whoosh, and she was faced with Finn, usual determined look set into his features. But at seeing her like that—sobbing with her hands still held out, kneeling on the floor—his face suddenly transformed into a mask of concern.

"Rey!" he said worriedly, coming into her room and dropping down as well. "Are you okay? What happened!"

"F-Finn," she choked out, still staring at her hands.

What would have happened, had they touched again? Would she have seen the same future as before? Or another, less savory one? In that moment, seeing Ben crumble under the knowledge that his mother still lived, Rey had forgotten every ounce of her earlier anger. She saw the look in his eyes that she knew well; it was deep, unfathomable regret. Luke had looked the very same way, when he'd finally told her the truth of what happened with Ben. But this time, instead of anger, she'd only felt sympathy.

"What is it?" Finn questioned, putting one hand on her face and the other on her shoulder. "Rey, what's wrong?"

Gazing at her empty palms once more, she sniffed slightly and closed her fists, laying them against her thighs. Slowly, Rey looked up at Finn, holding back the tears that threatened to overflow. There was no time for wondering now; she knew what she had to do.

"I need to see Leia."


End file.
